hpk.co.in - cartoon

Company for Company...

hpk — Thu, 14 Jun 2007 13:16:17 +0000

I met a man, a very old man
He told me his plan to start a company
I asked why
Why don’t you just have fun and die
You’ve worked hard now go be the family bard
He said it’s too hard
I am sad and lonely and want company only
When I was young I made a journey
A very long journey
It has lasted so long it took me away from my own
Now I wear a white collar
And swear by the dollar
America has made me stand taller
I tasted the Apple then fell from the grace

My family is sad
I don’t love my wife
My kid is a moron I ruined his life
He's between fiction and facts but no poetry
I've made him sterile, just like me

I hate my people and make them feel bad
I tell them tall stories
Make them dream of unachievable glory
I confess I’m vicious, very very vicious
This habit of mine has taken its toll
I have a lot of money but no friends at all
But in my own country I can buy company

So here is my plan
I will start a company
Hire young people
And tell them my jokes
If they don’t lie
I will show them the door

I said best wishes but no company works like that
The old man got serious and said my dear lad
Who cares about the company as long as I have company
If it works nice else it’s still a beautiful compromise

So he had no company.

the boss is back...

hpk — Wed, 30 May 2007 13:16:56 +0000

The other day the his boss came back and lo and behold the games room lost most of its alpha warriors. No longer he had to wait in line for his turn to play, no long he had to gulping down food; run to the TT table to beat the post lunch crowd, no longer he had to sit in line waiting for his turn to come..., etc... groovy... so he decide he'll enjoy the kicks while it still lasts... he is a happy man these days. Hail the boss.

The point, "I" wonder is where have the warriors gone? And why? Kyun bhai?

Why he never went to Page 3 parties...

hpk — Mon, 21 May 2007 14:09:28 +0000

For the lack of social skills he preferred sitting in front of his computer, surfing porn, sulking and trolling slashdot , his superior codeing skills and latest gadgets defined his self esteem..., most of his friends were just like him and his biggest regret in life was that affair he had with the girl in his computer coaching. He had taught her so much, did her assignments, gave her gifts, though of making love to her some day, felt guilty for thinking of her naked body. Yeah he was in love alright. But suddenly one day, as usual, she closed the door on him, since all men are created equal, she chose to marry the richer one. That was 10 years ago, he still hasn't forgotten her smile, her smell, the warmth of the seat where she had just sat, the softness of her skin which he never touched.

Since then, he hates all the women. And hates them more for ignoring him, laughing at him, and even making fun of his superior coding skills! Bitches. Long ago, he experienced a surge in female attention when he bought the new iPod . But that was short lived. However, now he is addicted to those attention surges and craves for any new gadget that the market pukes out.

The other day I asked him to come to a party with me, "Fucking page 3 parties, raands getting drunk and fucking around. Mujhe nahin aana hai... its against Indian culture", he said. I told him its a private party. "Private ho ya public, mujhe nahin aana, I don't like dancing and I don't know any one and I don't want to know any one, and I am happy single".

Whatever.

but people are assholes...

hpk — Wed, 16 May 2007 11:32:43 +0000

including me of course.

...but what if
...but how can you
...but we can't
...but where will we
...but why
...but is it possible

and so on... This is our usual response when we are presented and idea or a suggestion or any thing. It always starts with the negative. I guess we are hard wired to be negative. Instead of concentrating on the merits of the idea, we begin trying to find faults in it. For example, if you say, "education should be free for all". Immediately people will start asking questions like:

but won't it create a big dent in our GDP?
but where will we the money come from?
but who will manage this?
but what about the infrastructure?
but who will decide what to teach?
but politicians will use this as a campaigning point.

and so one... ~~assholes~~ people generally concentrate on pulling the idea down instead of working to achieve the goal. I don't know if this is a cultural thing but when I talk to people belonging to other countries, firangs as we know them in India, they approach to such situations in a more positive way. They'd be like, "Now we gotta get this done, lets see what are the bottle necks... and how can we remove them." This is so refreshing then our desi conversations. I admit I do this often enough but this should change. This is one area I would love to see us Indians imitate the west. Amen.

Best time to leave your boy friend...

hpk — Tue, 23 Jan 2007 14:18:59 +0000

Over the years I have come to believe the right time to leave your boy friend is when he starts whining phrases like "you are my strength, inspiration etc". More often then not these words are followed/preceded by constant badgering on the phone, more then frequent house calls, and emotional black mail and in extreme cases abusive behavior. This is the time when you should start paying attention to your long suppressed inner voice which had been saying - I've had enough!

Nothing is as irritating as getting call after call from “that swine" when you are enjoying “sex on the beach" + “Srilankan fish deep fried in banana leaves" with your date the new cool dude. You are in an awkward position, don't want to be rude and the swine is not listening to your polite, I'll call you later or I can't talk now or I am a little busy and the dude sitting opposite is wondering whats happening. And then you put down the phone flustered/annoyed/guilt-ed/etc and the new cool dude asks - who was it? And you get into this dilemma, shall I say my X (na too early), an old friend (how will I explain my reaction), a crank caller (how will I explain I'll call you later), my brother (won't hold), father (same), mother (can never work)... No. No matter what you say, the new cool dude will know. And then you get that condescending talk - Oh I know how it feels like etc...

What's the point of it all? Are bhai kyun itna sir dard lena? Dump him at the first sign of whining... After all, you don't want to be with some one who soaks his strength, inspiration, etc from you! What happens when you run out of supply???