Spiderman 3

Spiderman 3 Teaser 2, originally uploaded by AsceticMonk.

“We all have a choice…,” or some thing like that. The movie ends with this parental advice from Spiderman. Alas, I didn’t have a choice but you have! After exhausting the novelty of special effects repertoire in Spiderman 1 and appeal of melodrama in Spiderman 2 , the Raimi brothers found themselves with nothing new to offer. Watching Spiderman 3 gives you a feeling of deja-vu, Spiderman does the same old tricks, fight sequences are the usual and to top it off Spiderman suffers from the usual hero’s dilemma, fights with girlfriend and then saves her life, gaaaaa! Having relevant experience one would imagine a calmer demeanor Mary Jane (she’s never called by any nickname or pet name) finds her self being as scared as in Spiderman 1 while hanging from a sky scraper.

Not much of a movie Spiderman 3, I’ve read Spiderman comics with much better plots. The plot is extremely weak, sketchy and incoherent. Some outer space creature follows Spiderman and makes him black i.e. moderately evil. Then suddenly Spiderman gets rid of it. In between he dumps girl friend, becomes a Casanova, becomes bad guy, kills bad guy, bombs his friend etc etc… All this happens with little continuity between the scenes. Baffling.

In the entire Spiderman series none of the characters have any social life what so ever! Mary Jane, Peter Parker, Harry Osborn etc… all of them seem to be social outcasts. No wonder they all have strange personalities. What is amusing is, and it’s true of most of the movies today, that there are no bad guys. The good old days of genuine bad guys is over. Every villain has a compelling reason to do bad things! I so miss “Gabber Singh”, “Frank Booth ”, “Dr. No ”, etc etc… they were good bad guys. There was not a single ounce of good in them. You never felt pity on them folks dieing. Not any more. It is hard to believe that the world has changed so much that there are no villains only good people gone bad. Biblical. I would not like to live in such a world! It would make things so difficult. How then would we be able to justify killing, mass killing, genocides, etc…?

I want my villains bad. I want them blood thirsty, thieving, sniveling, kidnapping, ugly, dirty, loud, laughing, roaring, blackmailing, rapist types. I don't want to feel guilty for feeling good when a villain is killed...

I am warning you, films like Spiderman are ruining our culture. We should do something about it. We should not watch Spiderman 3 “again”. Waise timepass ke liye okish movie hai.


300 Poster

So the other day I went to watch 300… again. Armed with more facts (wikipedia, HBO and such) I watched this beautiful blood splattered animation again. It was fun. Now I am dying to watch the Hindi dubbed version. It would be great fun to watch naked men shouting “Spartan bhaion dhakka lagao". Corny but fun.

About the movie, it is nice, no story as such. 300 people take a stroll, in 480 BC, down the Thermophyle pass kill thousands of Persians before being betrayed and killed. The reason I went to see the movie again are thus: animation, graphics, naked men, queen Gorgo.

Animation because all but one scene of the movie was shot outdoor and every thing is computer generated, so technically it’s an animation movie. Graphics, you gotta see the end credits you’ll know. Naked men, well, unlike many unfortunate men who suffered in envy while their lady friend oh and ah-ed seeing all those naked men sling and slash their perfect muscles, abs, biceps, spears and swords, I was fortunate to watch the movie with male friends (with fat quantities rivaling mine) and enjoy the well sculpted bodies of the fighters without much shame. I wish I had those abs… Queen Gorgo, because she looks stunningly hot and dignified. Hot and dignified – very rare. And the designer clothes she wore… wow.

However these are not the only reasons I watched the movies again. 300 is an absolutely different kind of cinema. It’s a video comic book! Beginning with Sin City, a new way of film making is emerging. This cinema is as violent as any Gotham comic, its dark, it’s about dignity and valor, it’s about black and white, its about make believe and anger, its about voluptuous women (all women in comics are voluptuous). All comic book qualities packed in a movie. Parents watch this movie to know what little sunny reads all day. Guess these films are a natural successor to comic tradition.

The other thing that’s cool about the movie is that Zack Snyder has choreographed fight sequences like poetry in motion! Violence has been made to look beautiful. I, myself felt like slitting the next guys throat in one sequence. There is so much blood in the movies but it’s not gory. One can wonder how much hard work has gone in making digital blood looks beautiful. Kudos.

After my second helping of the movie I have great sympathies with the Persians. I mean Spartans culture, as depicted in the movie, is barbaric and oppressive. Kids are killed at birth if they seem defective (half of the world wouldn’t exist to appreciate 300 were we practicing Spartanism today). Kids were separated from their mothers at seven years of age and made to fight brutally for the next 14 years, most could not survive. Their leaders were corrupt; their priests were a bunch of corrupt junkies who needed the prettiest of girl child to communicate with god! Ugly if you ask me. On the other hand Persian’s tried to do mandwaali so many times with the Spartans; instead Spartans killed and maimed Persian messengers willfully! Spartan king shouts, “We fight for freedom and honor!” Pretty funny if you consider oppressive Spartan society. Persians are the villains! No wonder Iranian’s are running shit scared these days.

Awesome movie to watch with your eyes wide shut. Amen.

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